Fear in labor: There is no room for it
Fear, its a common emotion that we all have experienced at some points in our lives. Whether it be a close call on the road, consistent worries, or concerns about the unknowns in life, fear is a real intangible item that we need to face.
In talking to many birth doula clients, expectant families, and even healthcare providers, fear dominates conversations in the birth world. There are so many unknowns, risks, challenges, and fears interwoven into our discussions about birth. This is a totally normal reaction to something that is in many ways mysterious and intimate. Births are not televised, at least apart from Hollywood’s depictions, birth is something everyone on the planet is a part of, but something that we don’t collectively understand.
Addressing theses fears, educating our communities about birth, and releasing the need to control these fears can help change our pathways to birth. With this, we can connect to our bodies more, trust our bodies more, and have more meaningful birth experiences.
Why we need to address fear to have a better labor and birth?
First, think about how fear makes you feel? When we are in a fearful state what happens to our bodies? Our blood pressure and heart rate may spike, we start sweating in various locations throughout the body, we tense up muscles. This is your body preparing to handle that perceived fear.
Feelings of fear = Muscle tension in contractions
Tensing muscles in labor is counter-productive. Your body is working incredibly hard to expand, change shape, and be malleable. Think about stretching your muscles and how difficult that would be if you are tight, tense, and focused on fear.
Now, think about what it feels like to be safe and relaxed. This parasympathetic nervous state (rest and digest) is where we want to be in labor and birth. Your body can be flexible and adaptive. You can meet the sensations of labor contractions with acceptance and relaxed muscles, allowing labor to happen as it should.
This is why we must address those fears before going into labor.
Real life example: The pushing phase (2nd stage of labor) is often where I see, as a birth doula, the most fear in labor. This is when your baby descends past the cervix, through the birth canal, and out of your vagina. Your uterus, including your cervix, your birth canal, and your vagina all consist of muscles that are designed to be flexible, adaptive, and receptive of the movements your baby takes to enter the world.
A fear of tearing the perineum (the connective tissue between your vagina and butthole) causes many women stress throughout pregnancy, labor, and even at this final pivotal moment.
I have personally seen how so many birthers lean into that stretching, fiery sensation and overcome their fear. Initially, they hold back tightening the muscles and sphincters where their baby should be exiting through. They can feel themselves muscularly and emotionally holding them back from meeting their baby. As they become “comfortable” or aware of the actions at play, they can release the tension build up and birth their babies with relaxed and inviting muscles.
There is no way around this fear, there is only through it: literally and figuratively! According to Evidence Based Birth, this fear and holding back can actually lead to more intense and severe perineum tears. Check out Evidence Based Birth podcast for more research on the best methods for pushing that protect your perineum and contribute to a fearless birthing experience.
emotions of fear = holding bacK in labor
What are some emotions that come up when you are fearful? Dread, insecurity, inferiority, horror, panic, helplessness. These are all incredibly intense and can cloud your thinking, judgment, and momentum.
Animals in labor, who sense danger or fear, will relocate and instinctively their bodies slow the progression of labor. When you are experiencing fearful emotions labor can slow its pace, naturally allowing you to escape danger and protect yourself and your child to be. As animals, us humans still have that instinct.
That is why understanding what you might be afraid of in labor and birth is so critical. If we can address these fears ahead of time, make them manageable, and come up with an action plan for when you are in labor, we can keep labor progressing: Saving time, energy, and encouraging a more inspiring experience.
how to overcome labor and birth fears:
Education!
Education is one of the best ways to address your fears. Learning about yourself, your body and how it was designed for birth, and learning about the medications or interventions that support birth can help take the mystery away.
I recommend watching more videos on birth. Monet Nicole is an excellent birth photographer and birth doula in my local Denver area. Her stories capture every type of birth you can imagine, while also radiating beauty and light. Check out some of her videos here to see the beautiful and diverse spectrum of births.
Understanding the stages of labor and what is going on internally is a great way to enter labor fearlessly! Read more on physiological births in this past blog post.
Shaking and trembling are something we see animals do when they are scared. We tend to do this with intense fight or flight feelings, with a chill, or excitement. During transition, going from 8cm to 10cm in cervical dilation, trembling is common as your body dumps you with many different hormones to prepare you for meeting your child.
Both moms and dads alike can be threatened and intimidated by this shaking if they don’t know that it’s normal and healthy. They think “I’m shaking, something must be wrong,” and go into panic mode, which can make the tremors more intense. Understanding that this is part of your body preparing for the final stages of birth can be a way to reframe that fear and lean into the shakes that will help bring your baby into your arms.
Fear Release Meditations
Whether you are a fan of meditating or not, practicing specific and intentional fear releases can change your life.
A fear release meditation takes through a step-by-step process that allows you to digest your fears, understand where they are coming from, accept them, and change the story. These fear releases help to unwind the subconscious brain from clinging to the fear and release you from the stress it causes.
Many professional athletes and speakers practice fear releases and positive visualizations. This helps them focus on the goal they want to achieve instead of the fear that clouds that progress.
Community
Surrounding yourself with trusted loved ones, those who support you unconditionally, and who can comfort you is a great way to combat fear. When you have those in your corner who help strengthen your abilities, know you inside and out, it makes it easier to face those fears.
Choosing the right people around you during this transformative and intimate time can save you in moments filled with obstacles. Vulnerability is something one of my heroes, Brene Brown, talks a lot about. Being vulnerable is scary in its nature, but being vulnerable around those we love, trust, and empathize with can empower us to handle anything in our way.
Pick those around you who you feel your strongest, most authentic self around. Your fears will not stand a chance with a team like that supporting you.
conclusion
Avoiding and ignoring your fears for labor and birth is not recommended. As we have seen above, those internal fears will show up at the least optimal times. Learning your own unique fears, educating yourself about your body, and coming up with an action plan to overcome those fears, and including your supportive community will set you up for the birth you wish for and deserve!
Remember that it is okay and completely human to have these fears, we are not enlisting shame for having these fears. At Radiant Birth And Wellness, we want to work with you to overcome and champion these fears, so that you meet your child with love, light, and confidence.